Why Hollywood Is A Dangerous Place

The story goes something like this:

The studio wanted a monument to its great past. Many a great western was filmed on their lot, along with the low-budget B movies and serials that kept kids coming back to the theater week after week.

Now, they'd already named a building after their Western heroes Roy Rogers and Dale Evans.

"How about a life size sculpture of Trigger?" someone suggested. Trigger, as we all know, was Roy's horse, more recognisable in his day than all but a few human actors now alive. Kids went to see Trigger as much as Roy and Dale, I suspect.

So, the sculpture was created. Trigger, rearing back on his hind legs, stood nearly a dozen feet tall. They placed Trigger next to the pedestrian entrance of the new parking structure.

The artist faithfully reproduced Trigger's flaring nostrils, his rippling muscles, and... let's just say that the artist made damn sure Trigger was anatomically correct in all respects.

Some say that the sight of Trigger's substantial 'package' drew complaints, it being roughly eye-level with the office workers, background extras, make-up people, et al, trudging back and forth to their cars.

Knowing Hollywood folks, I'd say that it's more likely that the grips and juicers made crude jokes; the office women giggled, and the gay writers and hair dressers gasped in envy.

But one day, the great stallion Trigger was rendered gender neutral. A smooth piece of fiberglass was substituted for the controversial appendages.

There's a lesson here.

In Hollywood, no matter how famous you are, no matter how much you've done for the studio, someone is eager to cut your balls off at the first opportunity.