The Supremes: Lock and Load

In its final decision for the session, the Supreme Court has come to the conclusion that, yes, the founders really meant that the right to bear arms means you, dear citizen, can own a gun. It only took them a couple of centuries to figure that out.

Now that that's settled, let's move on. Apparently, you can own a gun (without a lock! OMG!) and keep it in your house. Nice first step, guys. (I say "guys" because Ruth Ginsberg, that liberal ninny, objected as part of the 5-4 vote.)

But what about those of us who spend half the day in our cars? Right now, here in the People's Republic of Kalifornia, the law says I'd have to keep my gun in a locked box in the trunk. Unloaded.

That's not exactly the best location for a weapon when you're set upon by a gang of thugs in the bowels of Los Angeles at midnight.

"Yeah," you say, "And what the hell are you doing in the bowels of LA at midnight?" Uh, earning a living, along with a heck of a lot of other folks.

Not all of us live and work in Beverly Hills. Every day, several hundred thousand of us Californians have to run the gauntlet from suburbs to our jobs along some pretty mean streets. Remember, they didn't put the freeways through the good neighborhoods. So, if your Hyundai takes a crap in the middle of any number of less-than-desirable 'hoods along your commute, you could have about as much luck surviving as a sparrow, with a bad wing, at a cat show.

Last year, for example, there were 12,000 assaults, 10,000 robberies, 500 rapes, and 784 murders attributed just to gang members, according to the LAPD's website. And just how do you think Mr. Crip and Mr. Blood feel about Joe Lunchbox who can't carry a gun to protect himself? Pretty happy about that, I imagine.

Remember, LA has something like 26,000 known gang members who really don't give a shit what LAPD Chief Bratton says about not carrying weapons. Like it or not, the homies know that it's better to be judged by a jury of your peers than to be carried in a coffin by your friends. Street smarts win out every time over criminal codes.

A growing number of states have laws permitting the carrying of a concealed weapon, assuming that A) you're not a felon, and B) you're not crazy. You might be surprised to learn that following the institution of concealed carry laws, weapons-related crime in these states didn't increase. Apparently, grandma doesn't turn into a vigilante or mass murderer just because she can carry a .22 in her purse.

As someone once said, "an armed society is a polite society". If the homies had to contend with masses of potentially armed citizens, they'd politely go back to robbing Korean liquor stores like in the old days, and leave the rest of us alone.

Ya feelin' me, Supremes? Just don't take another 200 years to figure it out.