Why Do My Spammers Speak Latin?

Like a lot of Americans, I get spam in my email "in" box daily. What I'd like to know is this: How did they all learn Latin? Maybe it's not Latin at all; maybe it's Esperanto, or whatever Klattu, that nice man from outer space spoke to Gort the robot in "The Day The Earth Stood Still". I dunno.

Here's a sample collection from today's mailbox headlines:

Wompass leam sungus liquito
Leathrot plass vidow wino
Cape Potape sunnet
Flight floon swimmet spaper
Vidow bibruid solass eral knis.

I can make out three words -- "flight," "cape" and "wino," and wino is really a slang term. "Vidow" shows up twice; I wonder why vidows are so popular. Maybe they're warning me in Porky-Pigspeak of vlack vidows? Be veddy veddy careful...

Perhaps its really poetry. I imagine a gaunt man in a goatee; someone who never left the coffee shops of the Beatnik days of 1950's San Francisco, dressed all in black, earnestly speaking these words into a microphone in some dark and dingy dive out in North Beach. A single spot light illuminates our muse.

"Yeah, man. It's, like, Leathrot, plass vidow, wino... like, cool." He snaps his fingers. "Can you dig it, man?"

Polite applause from the half-dozen in the audience. They sip cappuccino while huddled around candle-lit cafe tables.

You've got to admit it; it's much more fun to imagine that spammers are really unemployed humanities majors, or space aliens, than hucksters pushing Canadian pharmaceuticals.

So, I don't open the posts to find out the truth. I'd rather think that there's a legion of Esperanto-speaking folk with nothing else to do than to email me every day.