I'll Show You Mine...If You'll Show Me Yours

...the answers, that is, to Bernard Pivot's list of questions, made famous by James Lipton on his television show "Inside The Actor's Studio." Ready? My answers will be at the bottom of the post.

What is your favorite word?

What is your least favorite word?

What turns you on?

What turns you off?

What sound or noise do you love?

What sound or noise do you hate?

What is your favorite curse word?

What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?

And finally...

If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive?

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OK, here are my answers:

What is your favorite word?
"Diaphanous"

What is your least favorite word?
Starts with a "C," rhymes with "runt."

What turns you on?
A three way tie: Knowing the "Final Jeopardy" question; the laughter of loved ones; getting the punchline to a good topical joke.

What turns you off?
My frequent nightmares, mostly about working at newspapers.

What sound or noise do you love?
A group of musicians playing a tune I love; a cat's purr; remembering the voices of my dead parents.

What sound or noise do you hate?
Air raid sirens. (They totally freak me out. Remember, I'm a child of the "duck and cover" era.)

What is your favorite curse word?
Rhymes with "truck," as if you didn't know.

What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?
Tour guide ("Hi, I'm Rick Steves...")

And finally, if heaven exists what would you like to hear God say when you arrive?
"Hi, dumb ass. Kind of squeeked in here under the wire, there, didn't you? Want to go back and try for a better score?"