Eat Right, Live Healthy, And See What Happens?

Stolen from (of all things) an eBay auction for bike parts:

An old couple, he 85 years old and she 83, having been married almost 60 years, had died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years mainly due to the wife's interest in health food and exercise. When they reached the gates of Heaven, St. Peter took them to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen, master bath suite, and Jacuzzi.
As they gasped at the splendor of their estate, the old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. "It's free," Peter replied, "because this is Heaven."
Then they went to the garage. In it were a Mercedes S600 sedan, a Ferrari Enzo, and a Lamborghini Countach Special, along with a Rolls Royce and Bentley, complete with chauffeurs. Next they went out back to survey the championship golf course that the home backed up to. They would have golfing privileges every day, and each week the course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses on earth. The old man asked, "What are the green fees?" Peter replied, "Remember, this is Heaven, so you play for free."
Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the best cuisines of the world laid out on a table more than one hundred feet long.
"How much to eat?" asked the old man. "Don't you understand yet? This is Heaven. It is free!," Peter replied with some exasperation. "Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol tables?" the old man asked timidly. Peter said "That's the best part -- you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. This is Heaven."
With that the old man went into a fit of anger, throwing down his hat and stomping on it, and shrieking wildly. Peter and his wife both tried to calm him down, asking him what was wrong. The old man looked at his wife and said, "This is all your fault. If it weren't for your &^#$@ bran muffins, I could have been here ten years ago!"