A Death In The Family.

I lost a beloved friend today. Shadow was "just" a cat, but one of the best friends I ever had. I've written about Shadow before in my blog -- how smart he was, how human he seemed, but words can't describe how much he meant to me.

Some animals are always ready to please their owners; others quietly co-exist, preferring to just be in the background. Shadow's temperament was as varied as the weather; one day aloof, and another silly and playful, racing about the house in what we called his "Seabiscuit" routine.

One time he let it be known he was ready for his dinner. When my wife set a plate of a new flavor of cat food down in front of him, we both swear that he sniffed it, turned around, and said, and I quote, "What the fuck..." clear as a bell, and marched off, disgusted.

He knew our routine. He knew to wake me at 3:45 in the morning for work, and when it was time to go to bed. We'd laugh that he hadn't gotten the memo when the time change came, and he'd get me up an hour early.

Every night at bedtime, he'd crawl up on my chest, and rhythmically pad my chest, his claws digging through my shirt and into my skin. If I for some reason had pulled the blanket up, he would be visibly dejected, deprived of his game.

Lately, since the cancer came, he could hardly stand as he tried to do his little two-step dance. He'd get off one or two cycles, slowly, before the effort became too much.

Towards the end, his weight loss was dramatic. Shadow was literally skin and bones, yet he was more eager than ever to go outside, attempting to roll on the concrete despite the pain, and enjoy the sunshine. He gave up worrying that our other two cats, who he hated, might be out there with him. Shadow even managed to catch, and eat, one final lizard in his last week.

Through all the pain the cancer brought, the loss of blood, the loss of energy, Shadow kept his dignity. He never looked at me seeking pity. Shadow was too strong for that.

A lot of humans could have learned a great deal about life from Shadow. I know I did, and I will miss him very very much.